Carlos F. Garcia

I found out today that an old college friend passed away 2 weeks ago. Carlos F. Garcia was good people & while we didn't hang out 24/7, you didn't have to to know that.

RIP Carlos.
Blessings to the family.

Billiards spot

So this Cue Ball place is quickly becoming our new "billiards spot." BigO & I went again there last night. I gotta admit, I'm digging that Oscar's calling *me* up & saying "let's hang out." This is definitely a marked difference from how it used to be. Who know's, maybe O's getting his swerve back but either way, it's good stuff hanging w/old friends who are good peeps.

This spot's pretty mellow & you see people of all types/ages (the only drawback is that the jukebox kinda sux, which can be huge). Allegedly, Willy's gonna be going out w/us next Friday night- I'll believe it when I see it. Willy's another friend from back in the day but he always seems hella busy these days. Then again, since Oscar's the one telling him to go out, maybe he will (more like, maybe he BETTER!). That's right Willy-Will, I'm calling you out, beyotch!

Marriage...

This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately (before my mom starts getting all excited, it's not about me). Why is it that marriage changes people so much? Is it that their priorities suddenly take a 90 degree turn? I mean, chances are they've been dating that person for a while so why would priorities/time spent/love change so much? Or is it that I change because my friend(s) is married now? Do I hold back from hanging out w/them as much 'cuz I don't want to "bother" them? Do I not wanna interfere w/their nirvana of love? All perplexing questions but I think the truth lies somewhere as a combination of all of those (for me). I mean, once you're married, it's not just about you any more. While it's obvious things change (you can't do the same things w/your married friends as when you were all single), you're still friends at the core.

One thing I will never understand is why all the wives are against their husbands going out w/me (or other friends who are single). Their answer is simple (I've heard the same thing from like 4 wives): "when married guys hang out w/single guys, they adopt the single guy mentality." I call bullshit on that one! What's a "single guy's mentality?" It's not like marriage puts up a magical barrier against that & from looking at the ever-increasing divorce rate, I'd say that happens just as much while married (both men & women do that). In my opinion, there's a couple reasons for this: (a) the lack of trust (or lack of self-confidence in one of the partners) & (b) not keeping the relationship fresh. I've been in a relationship where the girl was always trying to keep me in check & it was all due to lack of self-confidence. That was the most annoying relationship to be in, nothing like getting questioned for every little thing when you KNOW you'd done nothing wrong (since when is it a crime to have a brief conversation w/the lady @ the checkout stand at the market, i mean, come on!!). I guess keeping the relationship fresh is the trickiest thing to do. After a while, you know everything about the person (so that whole initial high of getting to know the person, staying up 'til 2am on the phone, etc. isn't necessary anymore) & all you seem to talk about is "how was your day." Add to that a few kids, money problems or hardships @ work & you've got a recipe for disaster (or at the very least, a whole lot of arguments & snapping going on). I honestly don't know how married couples get over that hurdle (maybe having kids keeps their focus on something else) but I've got an idea:

Dr. Miguelito suggests having a "date night" once a week. No kids, no family, no drama, just the couple. Go out on a date (like it used to be when you were courting each other)- movie, dinner, dancing, concert, poetry reading or just going for a drive up PCH around 10pm, windows rolled down, music 'bumpin....whatever tickles the couple's fancy.

Easy for me to say, I'm not married... =P

Gris(elda)

Hands-down my quirkiest friend is Griselda. I used to like calling her "Gris" (a shortened version of her name but it means "gray" in spanish) until she totally snapped on me one day. People need to chill the heck out, it's a name, not like I'm cussing her out or nothing (part of it is that she's never liked her name & always talks about changing it). Well, Gris is another friend I met on the bus- we both used to sit in the back & I always had some book I was reading & my headphones on but for some reason, she asked me something one day & the headphones never came on again. I say Gris is quirky, well, 'cuz she is. She's the only person I know who can out-yap me. When we met, we both lived in the same city (& like 5 blocks from each other)- just like Lolly- so we'd talk once in a while on the phone (we'd see each other on the bus like once a week) but never really hung out. Little by little, that changed, but mostly we'd just talk on the phone once in a blue moon (yes guys, having female friends to talk to & get advice from- & vice versa- is a GREAT thing!)

As a matter of fact, it's been like 7 yrs & we're still friends. She lives out in Hollyweird now & we still, occasionally, keep in touch. Gris is another (girl)friend whom I can talk to about anything. I'm starting to see a trend here...

Yvonne

Writing about Lolly reminded me about Yvonne, her sis. I've only met their other sisters briefly but they didn't seem to be as similar as Lolly & Yvonne- good, kind-hearted souls. In my opinion, it's such a blessing to know people that are like this 'cuz they're quite the rarity (especially here in the City of Angels). I'll provide a perfect example: a group of friends went out one nite and everyone got trashed (minus Yvonne who was the designated). Since I'd driven to Jesse & Yvonne's place out on the Westside, no way was I driving in that drunken state home. So Yvonne tells everyone to spend the night (a couch in the living room never felt so comfortable, lemme tell ya). I wake up around 9am to the smell of breakfast. Boy oh boy, Yvonne had gone ALL out- turkey albondigas (meatball soup), eggs (the way I like 'em too, just the egg whites), beans & flour tortillas. Talk about hospitality, but we weren't expecting all that. Yvonne didn't have to do that, she'd been up just as late as the rest of us, but she did- 'cuz good people do that kind of stuff for friends. I *think* Lolly might've helped but those 2 are always bickering about who cooks best. Typical sisters, I guess. ;)

I hadn't talked to Jesse & Yvonne in quite some time so I called 'em up yesterday. Jesse wasn't home (too bad too, wanted to say wassup to him) so I talked to Yvonne for a bit. We caught up & talked about all kinds of things. It's really odd, I have this weird connection w/Lolly & Yvonne- where we can just talk about anything at the drop of a dime- maybe we knew each other in a previous life or something. Either way, always good having good friends you can talk to & not feel bad or embarassed if things aren't going so well for you (friends that don't judge you). The good thing is that they know I'm there for them too, if they ever need it...rare, but good relationships to have. :)

Lolly

Lolly & I have been really good friends for like 6 years now- we could always talk to each other about anything (&, chances are, we've talked about almost everything). She's been there for me when neither close friends nor family were around to lend a helping hand or share a kind word. I've always appreciated that from her & count her as one of my few close friends. No matter what we ever did, we always had a good time- from just chillin' & watching a movie to going out w/a bunch of friends & dancing the night away. Her sister Yvonne is also very, very cool & the 3 of us have hung out a lot...ahh, some good memories.

I met Lolly at a bus stop we both use to frequent on our way home. We'd chat a bit but little by little, I realized this was one really good, kind person. We only exchanged numbers 'cuz I was going to be working in downtown so I wasn't going to be seeing her on that bus. We'd chat occasionally &, little by little, got to be better friends. But it's funny how things change.

While we're still good friends, things do change when your friends get married- not in a bad way, just on a different level (trust me, I know, having TONS of friends get married in the last few years). All friendships go thru their tough times & little by little we stopped hanging out as much. Next thing I know, she'd met someone, fallen in love & they got married a while after that. They've had their problems (like all couples, I guess) but I truly wish her the best & I'm sure they'll work it out (good people deserve to be happy). They just bought a house so hopefully doing something together will bring them closer. Stopping by her pad the other night w/BigO, I realized it'd been a while since I'd seen her. She seems stressed out as she looked a bit emaciated- really odd 'cuz she's always been one helluva good cook (my tummy still has fond memories of the green enchiladas w/rice & beans she made me for my b-day a couple years back).

Hope ya feel better, Lolly, you know you have lots of friends & family who support ya & love ya to death.

Shooting Pool

So I talked to Oscar (BigO) yesterday & he wanted to shoot some pool. Being anti-social's never been one of my strong points so I was game. There's a spot by my pad called Cue Ball which I've driven by 100 times but never gone to so I called my friend Lolly to ask her if she thought it was a cool spot to chill at. She mentioned it's up the street from her new house & her husband Steve told her to invite us for a beer before we go shoot some pool. Oscar got here & he was down. What Lolly didn't tell me is that the "block" they live on is some small ass street (think of an alley) but we found it & they were working on the yard. Long story short, I downed a cold one while they showed us their cute little house & I fixed their dvd/cable/tv setup. Knowing that Oscar had to work early, we thanked 'em for the hospitality & headed off.

Once we got there, the place had a really cool vibe to it and the prices aren't too bad (gotta love $9 pitchers). Only thing that kinda sucked (well, for BigO) is that they don't serve any hard liquor (he can't drink beer after his surgery) so I felt bad being the only one drinking. We were there nearly 3 hours & had a good time catching up while checking out the fly honies. There were a couple girls at the table next to us & I just know BigO wanted to talk to 'em but he's always been a little shy (ever since I met his cherry-picking self when we played his school in basketball back in 8th grade). It was good seeing BigO go out, though- he's never been much into that (I gave up asking himto go clubbing or bar-hopping w/us when I used to do that like 2-3 times a week). So while it might be hard to get O to join us at some salsa club or one of the spots I dig (ie, Firecracker, the Room, etc), it's good to see him going out more. Baby steps, my friend, baby steps...